When I first started going to clubs to pick up girls, my guy friends quickly suggested I get contact lenses. Suggested? More like, twisted my arm and wouldn’t let me say no– after all, what are friends for? I would be the first person in my family to get contact lenses. I guess that sounds a little strange, putting something mundane like contacts up at a level with things like “university” and “House of Congress”. What can I say, I came from a strange family. Point is, regular old eyeglasses were about as far as my vision-assistance zone of comfort went.
I set up an appointment with the university optometry clinic. Took the eye exam. It was the first time in years, the first exam since I was in the Air Force. I was happy to learn my vision wasn’t as bad as I’d thought. The eyedoctor inserted a pair of lenses and it was awesome: I could see perfectly, no glasses! Suddenly I felt like the glasses themselves were training wheels that I’d just graduated from. Then the lenses came out and it was my turn to try inserting them on my own.
They say girls have less trouble with contact lenses because they’re always dabbing makeup around their eyes. The closest I’d ever come to putting anything in my eyes was removing sleep crust when I woke up in the morning. It was terrible. It took all my willpower to force my eye open while delicately trying to apply the tiny pieces of plastic onto my protesting iris. At first, despite the doctor’s detailed instructions, I tried inserting the things backwards. My struggles continuing, the doc started getting impatient: “I can’t prescribe these for you if you can’t put them in right…” Finally, at the last minute, they slid into place!
I had picked up a new skill, but if it were a video game, my skill level would be at that 1% level where you technically know it but can barely use it in practice. I took my shiny new prescription to the ordering room, placed an order for a year’s worth of dailies (you can either get disposable daily soft lenses, or harder reusable ones; I prefer the dailies because I’d hate to do all the work of carefully storing hard lenses every night and remembering to keep them moist!) They gave me a handful of temporary lenses, it would take a couple weeks for my years’ supply to arrive.
Nowadays I can get the lenses on without too much trouble– usually. I’ve come a long way from 1% skill, but I’ve got a lot of practice ’til I reach the 100% level my girlfriend seems to have with her reusables 
The main thing is to wash your hands thoroughly, shake-dry your fingers without touching anything, quickly slip one lens in, then repeat the whole process with the other one. Do it any other way, and a stray dust particle is likely to get in there, and that’s not fun! With practice, though, even a klutz like me is getting the technique down!
Anyway, wearing contacts is great, once you get past putting the things on. I get noticeably nicer treatment from everyone around me. People open up more easily, and trust you more. It’s a world filled with double standards, and looks count for everything! Look good enough, and you can get away with anything. But more important by far than any objective impact on my appearance, those little discs made me feel more attractive. And that’s priceless, no matter who you are.
FURTHER READING
My Time in Air Force Boot Camp
My Time in the Seduction Community
My Time at the University of Arizona